A Guide to the Grief Recovery Method: What to Expect

By Fr. Mark Colville

Grief is not just about death. It can come after a breakup, the loss of a job, or even a move. Grief is the normal and natural response to loss. But most of us were never taught how to deal with it. We were told to be strong, to keep busy, or that time heals all wounds. These ideas don’t help. In fact, they often make things worse.

The Grief Recovery Method is different. It gives you a safe space to talk about your loss. It gives you steps that help you feel heard and understood. It does not judge your feelings. It honors them. It helps you take action, so you are not stuck in pain forever.

The program comes from The Grief Recovery Handbook by John W. James and Russell Friedman. It is not therapy. It is not about advice. It is about learning tools that work.

Here’s what you can expect:

1. A warm welcome.

When you walk into a session, no one tries to fix you. There are no labels. No one tells you to “move on” or “get over it.” You are accepted just as you are.

2. A step-by-step process.

You will follow a clear path that includes looking at what you learned about grief, making a timeline of your loss, and writing letters to help complete what was left unsaid. These steps are gentle, not forced. You go at your own pace.

3. A safe space to share.

You are not required to talk about anything before you’re ready. When you do share, no one interrupts or gives advice. You are heard with love and respect.

4. Emotional honesty.

This method asks you to be real with yourself. That can be hard. But it is freeing. You may cry. You may laugh. You may feel light for the first time in a long time.

5. A focus on completion.

Grief recovery is not about forgetting. It is about finishing the emotional pain that is tied to the loss. When you complete the relationship, you get your energy back. You are not weighed down by regrets or what-ifs.

6. A life beyond loss.

Most people say they feel a sense of peace and clarity after completing the steps. They feel more alive. They feel more free. That is the goal. To live fully, even with the memory of loss.

In simple words, this method works.

It does not erase grief, but it helps you carry it with grace. You do not have to suffer in silence. You do not have to figure it out alone. You just have to take the first step.

The Grief Recovery Method has helped thousands of people all over the world. If you are hurting, it can help you too.

Source: James, John W., and Russell Friedman. The Grief Recovery Handbook. HarperCollins, 2009