Helping Children with Loss: A Gentle Program for Healing

Helping children with loss ,Grief sup

By Fr. Mark Colville

When a child loses someone or something they love, it can shake their whole world. It might be the death of a grandparent, a divorce, a move, or even the loss of a pet. As adults, we want to help. But many of us were never taught how.

The Helping Children with Loss program, created by the Grief Recovery Institute, is designed for parents, teachers, and caregivers. It gives you the tools to support a grieving child with love, honesty, and deep care. You don’t need to be a counselor or therapist. You just need to be willing to listen and show up with your heart open.

This program is based on the book When Children Grieve by John W. James, Russell Friedman, and Dr. Leslie Landon Matthews. The book offers real stories, gentle guidance, and clear steps. It helps you avoid common mistakes like trying to fix the child’s feelings or saying things like “Don’t feel bad” or “Be strong.” Those words may come from love, but they don’t help. What children need is someone to tell them the truth, someone who will listen without judgment.

In this program, we learn how to:

• Talk to children in age-appropriate and honest ways

• Help them express their feelings without shame

• Give them permission to grieve in their own time

• Create safety through presence and consistency

Dr. Landon Matthews, who co-authored the book, is the daughter of the late actor Michael Landon. She lost her father to cancer when she was just 20. Her personal story adds depth and warmth to the program. She knows grief from the inside out.

The Helping Children with Loss program isn’t about saying the right thing. It’s about being real. It’s about showing up again and again with kindness and truth. When children feel seen and heard, healing begins.

If you’re caring for a child who’s gone through loss, this program can help you walk with them, not ahead of them. It gives you the tools to be a soft place for them to land.

You don’t have to do it perfectly. You just have to do it with love.

Source: James, John W., Russell Friedman, and Leslie Landon Matthews. When Children Grieve: For Adults to Help Children Deal with Death, Divorce, Pet Loss, Moving, and Other Losses. HarperCollins, 2001.