Helping a Child or Teen Process Grief

Grief is hard for adults. For children and teens, it can be even more confusing. They often don’t have the words to explain what they’re feeling. And many adults don’t know how to help, so they stay quiet or try to cheer the child up. But grief isn’t something we fix—it’s something we walk through together.

The Grief Recovery Method® offers a program called Helping Children With Loss, based on the book by John W. James and Russell Friedman. This program teaches parents, teachers, and caregivers how to support grieving children in ways that are kind, honest, and helpful.

Why Old Beliefs Don’t Work

Most of us were taught things like:

• “Don’t feel bad.”

• “Be strong.”

• “Time heals all wounds.”

• “Just move on.”

We mean well when we say these things, but they don’t help. They teach children to hide their feelings or pretend everything is okay. That pain doesn’t go away—it just gets pushed down.

Children grieve in different ways. They may act out, withdraw, or seem fine one moment and overwhelmed the next. Whether they’re grieving a death, a divorce, a move, or a loss of routine, their feelings are real. And they need someone to help them carry it.

What Children Really Need

The Helping Children With Loss program gives adults the tools to:

• Be honest in simple, age-appropriate ways

• Listen without interrupting or correcting

• Avoid comparisons like “I know how you feel”

• Use real words like “death” instead of “passed away”

• Create space for open conversation—even if the child repeats the same story

You don’t need perfect words. You just need to show up with love and patience.

Fred Rogers Believed in This Work

Yes, Fred Rogers—the beloved host of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood—supported the Grief Recovery Method. In a letter to the authors, he wrote:

“Thank you for all you’re doing to help people through their grief… I know how important your work is—and I’m so glad it’s being done with such sensitivity and care.”

—Fred Rogers, 2000

Mr. Rogers believed in telling children the truth with love. He understood that grief doesn’t go away on its own. It needs to be heard, honored, and held with care.

You Can Help a Child Heal

You don’t need to be a counselor to support a grieving child. You just need to be willing to listen, learn, and be present. I offer classes based on the Helping Children With Loss program for anyone who wants to better support the children in their life.

If you’re a parent, grandparent, teacher, or caregiver—this is for you.

Grief is real. Love is real. And healing is possible—at any age.

For more information on this service, click here.

Sources:

• James, John W., and Friedman, Russell. Helping Children With Loss. Grief Recovery Institute, 2001.

• Grief Recovery Institute. “Fred Rogers’ Letter to the Institute.” https://www.griefrecoverymethod.com